


To Gain Love From Pain

by Scarlet_Camellia



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Romance, demon Do Kyungsoo, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 18:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Camellia/pseuds/Scarlet_Camellia
Summary: You're miserable, you hurt, your life is a fog of grey.Do Kyungsoo is a monster- a demon- and your suffering is sweet...and you are a tempting treat.





	To Gain Love From Pain

You stared at yourself in the mirror for what was probably a very unhealthy amount of time. Your eyes looked dull, your skin almost ashen in tone. You looked foreign to yourself now, and it only furthered the pain in your chest. You couldn't decide what you hated more- yourself or the way you looked.

When you couldn’t stand to look at yourself anymore, you shoved away from the cold bathroom sink only to stumble and crash into the door. “Fuck…” you murmur, your voice seeming so distant as you throw the door open and travel in a haze to your bed. 

You’d been this way for longer than you could remember- stuck in this cloud of self-hatred and pain. More days than not, you wondered what changed in you- why you became this way, and _why_ you even bothered anymore. You couldn’t figure out a good reason to be this way, and yet- 

You collapsed on your bed in a crumpled heap, not bothering to climb under the blankets even though your apartment was uncomfortably cold from the winter raging outside. You welcomed the discomfort- the eventual pain that came as the cold sank to your bones. Pain was the only thing that made you feel…

It was the only thing that made you _feel_. 

~

He watches you with curious, dark eyes. In all of his years of existing, he’d never seen someone like you- so full of agony, so tormented. He was drawn to the sweet smell and when he found you laying on your bed with your eyes staring blankly at the wall, your trembling lips the only sign of the emotional pain that swirled within you, he thought he’d found the holy grail of meals. 

Someone like you could feed a creature like him with your pain for hundreds, maybe thousands, of years. Someone suffering the way you did was a precious rarity indeed. He inhaled deeply and a satisfied smile formed on his plush lips, revealing the heart shape that contrasted so starkly with his dark existence. 

Yes, he would very much enjoy feeding from you.

~

At first, you thought you were insane. 

When you were feeling your worst, it was almost as if a pair of eyes were _watching_ you, but when you looked- nobody could be seen. You didn’t question it much, simply assuming insanity was the next step in your downward spiral. 

After a few short weeks, you started to feel a presence in your home at all times- sometimes you could almost _swear_ you saw a man in the corner of your room. 

“Hello?” you call out after months of slipping into this insanity, convinced there really was a man in your apartment watching you. 

~

Kyungsoo stiffened at your call, your eyes catching his evenly- even though you _shouldn’t_ be able to see him at all. His heart felt like a lump in his throat- should he respond? Should he reveal himself? 

In truth…he’d grown rather attached to you in the months he’d been feeding from your pain. More than just because your suffering was so sweet and pure- he’d grown attached to how you pulled yourself through each day even though you wanted so desperately to give up, he’d become attached to the way you lovingly prepared meals…even if you only ate a bite or two and threw the rest in the garbage. 

“My name is Kyungsoo.” He said softly, his voice meeting your ears and filling your body with a strange warmth. 

“Why are you here?” you question, your eyes widening as his form becomes more solid. Your gaze dances over his face, your breath caught in your throat as you realize this man, this _creature_ had been watching you for _months_. 

“I’m here to watch you.” He lied smoothly, crossing the room in quick strides and cupping your face in his hands. “I’ve been watching you suffer for a long time, Y/N.” He knew he shouldn’t- that this opportunity to be filled and satisfied from you and you alone should be seized…he should curse you, force you into eternal life so he’d never have to hunt again…but he can’t. He nuzzles your nose with his, his hot breath fans over your face. “You’ve been suffering for so long, I think you’ve earned happiness…don’t you?”

“A- are you an angel?” you ask in a whisper, his sudden nearness overwhelming- the urge to stop asking questions and just take his lips from a combination of curiosity and suicidal temptation demanding you to press forward. 

“Something like that.” He says vaguely before catching your lips with his impossibly soft and plush ones. Kyungsoo knew he’d lost his damn mind as soon as he kissed you- knowing that the moment your lips touched he’d drain all of your suffering…he’d take his energy source that could sustain him for hundreds of years in a single feeding- sacrificing his easy and satisfying resource… to make you happy. 

You sighed, a huge feeling of weight lifting from you as Kyungsoo broke the kiss and wrapped you up in his arms. It was so sudden- the way your pain left your heart. You could hardly do more than murmur a soft “Kyungsoo, my guardian angel.” Before a forceful sleep overcame you and you collapsed against him. 

_Guardian angel, she said._ he thought to himself as he swept you up in his arms and lay you gently in your bed. _You’re a fucking fool, Do Kyungsoo._ he chides himself as he lays at your side, lightly brushing strands of hair from your face and reveling in the soft feel of your skin under his fingertips. He knew he was a fool, but it was too late. 

He’d fallen in love with you.

~

It’d been years since you first truly met your angel Kyungsoo- since he gifted you with happiness. You never questioned why he appeared that day- why he kissed you, or how he stole all of your pain. But recently, you noticed something different…his usually golden skin looked dull- his soft pillowy lips had become dry and chapped. He looked…

“K- Kyungsoo?” you say his name gently as you wake him from a fitful sleep, something that’d grown to be a part of your daily lives. His dark eyes opened and met yours immediately, though he squinted hard to keep his focus on you. “You’re dying.” You didn’t have to ask- you knew. It was obvious now. “You’re no angel.” 

“I’m not.” He confirmed with a small nod, reaching a trembling hand to slide his fingers through your soft hair. “I survived on your pain.”

“But you took my pain away.” 

“I did.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” He whispered, the heart-shaped smile that never failed to make your heart flutter spreading on his face. 

“You’re starving to death without my pain…” 

“Don’t worry about me.” He pressed his index finger to your lips. “Consider it my debt being paid for being such a vile creature.”

“You’re not a monster!” you capture his hand in yours and press your lips to his knuckles. The dull ache of your old pain grew in your heart at the thought of Kyungsoo dying- of him leaving you alone after you’d shared so much together. You were shocked by his sudden gasp, his fingers tangling in your hair and tugging you down towards him. 

“I’m a monster, Y/N. Look at what your pain does to me.” He says in a near growl against your neck, his free hand fisting the sheets below him as his body shudders. 

You studied him, you realized that the more you hurt, the healthier he appeared- his body reacting instantly to your heartache. You shook your head in spite of yourself, the tears falling down your cheeks that you’d tried to hold back. “Then hurt me. Hurt me…and then stay with me.” You pleaded.

Kyungsoo couldn’t believe his ears- the self sacrificing that you offered to him sounded like a joke. A human… no human would _ever_ do something like _this_ for a monster like _him_ \- and yet here you were, offering pain and love in one beautiful promise that was his for the taking. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Hurt me…Kyungsoo you have to! Hurt me or I’ll hurt myself! _P- please…_ ” your voice cracked and you struggled to take a ragged breath. “A happy life without you isn’t a life worth living, Do Kyungsoo. I’d rather suffer every day for the rest of eternity and have you by my side…than be happy for even…” you rub frustrated fists against your crying eyes and sniffle back your sobs. “Than to be happy for even a single second without you.” 

Kyungsoo couldn’t think, could hardly breathe, at the pure pain that flowed from you and filled him. You actually meant the words you said- and it slammed him in the chest like a wrecking ball. His strength and health returned easily, he pulled you down into his arms and cradled your sobbing form against his body while he pressed tender kisses against your hair. He hated himself. For once, he truly hated himself for being so selfish- for falling in love with you. 

“I love you.” 

Your voice pulls him from the cloud of thoughts in his mind, he wonders for a moment if he’d imagined it. You swore, for years you swore you’d never say those words to him because to say you loved him seemed like petty payment for the gift of happiness he’d given you. He’d spoken of his love for you a hundred times over, but never once did you confess the same. “What?” he couldn’t stop his shocked voice from questioning you.

“I- I said…I love you, Do Kyungsoo.” You blush lightly, dried tears on your face embarrassing you but not enough to hide your reddened cheeks from him. “If you need pain to stay with me…then it’s easy… because the thought of you dying- of you leaving me in this cold fucked up world- I’ll go back to being the way I was before and that’s even more fucked up because I’ll be in pain but you’ll be dead so what’s the point if-“ 

Kyungsoo quieted you with a gentle kiss, realizing you’d found a loophole in what was supposed to be an intentional paradox to prevent those of his kind from taking human lovers. At the moment your lips parted, Kyungsoo felt a spark in his chest- a tingle of realization that he couldn’t go back to the way he lived before you…he needed you the same way that you needed him. “My love…” he whispered softly, holding your face in tender hands. “Stay with me?” he asked.

“Of course.” You say with a smile, with love in your eyes and the tightness of happiness in your heart. “I’ll stay with you until the end of time.” 

Kyungsoo didn’t have words to say- no words could express what he felt as he took your lips in a hard kiss and nicked your bottom lip with a sharp fang you’d never noticed before. A dull ache filled your body that was uncomfortable but not impossible to survive, you felt Kyungsoo’s hips buck against you as your new steady pain filled his senses. “I didn’t know it’d hurt you…” he confessed shyly. 

You shook your head, relieved that this new eternal life handed to you from a demon’s bite gave you pain. “We don’t have to go through this again…it hurts. You have the pain you need to survive.”

“Will you regret this?” Kyungsoo’s voice is soft, shy- almost…unsure. 

“Will you?” you retort, a smile on your lips. 

“Not in a million years.”


End file.
